Ep 82. The Buyer Confusion Loop: Why You Feel Stuck (And How to Get Out)
If you’ve ever felt stuck when trying to buy property, you’re not alone.
In this episode, I break down what I call the Buyer Confusion Loop — a pattern I see many buyers fall into where emotion, indecision and too many opinions lead to overwhelm.
We talk through:
Why the market isn’t actually the main problem
How buyers get stuck in cycles of doubt and delay
What a clear buying strategy should actually look like
How to assess a property beyond just how it feels
Why due diligence and sold data matter more than most realise
And most importantly, how to move from confusion to clarity — so you can make confident decisions when it counts.
Speakers in today’s episode:
Michelle May - Michelle May Buyers Agents
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Please note that any views or opinions presented in this podcast are solely those of the speakers, and do not necessarily represent those of any business. These views and opinions are general in nature, and do not take account of your personal objectives, financial situation and needs. Please consider whether it applies in your circumstances and seek professional advice wherever appropriate.
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Michelle:
Hi and welcome back to the Buy Your Side podcast, the property podcast to help you make smarter property buying decisions. My name is Michelle May and I am the principal of Michelle May Buyers' Agents here in Sydney. So, the world is kind of in a special kind of mess right now.
The cost of living has never been higher and uncertainty has for certainly already crept into the property market and everybody seems to be kind of collectively holding their breath right now and I just wanted to dedicate an episode on what I think happens typically in the property market when things are incredibly uncertain and people don't know what to do. I think the last time this happened in a really major way was of course Covid and what I noticed is that many
buyers fall into what I call a bit of a confusion loop. They start with excitement, right? Super exciting. You think you've got enough of a deposit and, let's go and find ourselves a home, our first home or second home, whatever it is, wherever you are on that ladder. But then they start, getting a million different kinds of opinions. They sort of delay decision making and before long they're overwhelmed and then they freeze.
What happens then? Buyers start blaming the market, different sources of opinion, but it's not really the market as such. They might think it's too competitive, there's not enough stock, prices are too high, they're all going to drop, it's blaming the rest of the world, but in reality that's not actually, in my experience, what causes the overwhelm. It's not when it comes to property.
Buying in any case, overwhelm can come from other things of course, but at the end of the day we all still need somewhere to live no matter what is happening around us whether that's renting or buying and if you are wanting to get out of the rental market the only way is to push forward with that idea to buy. I think the real problem for buyers is that they're trying to navigate three things at the same time which is the emotion, the indecision and then the far too many opinions that are coming their way, and when those three things combine you don't get clarity all you get is noise and then you feel like you're sort of stuck and you get that that freezing action you may even dip out of the market altogether and then you come back six months later and find that everything's changed again and you start again. That doubt starts with, is this the right one? What if something better comes up? and then people, obviously all have an opinion and now you're like, what do I do? So of course, this is a problem that most people are not even all that cognizant about, but whatever it is, the market still continues to move. So at the moment, of course, we've got a little bit of what seems to be a buyer's opportunity, but that's not going to last forever. Nothing ever does. I mean, the only thing we can be certain of is that everything keeps changing. And when it comes to property buying, we know that in the long run, the market is going to keep moving upwards, right?
So whilst there may be opportunities right now, those opportunities will pass. And the longer you sit in that loop of confusion, your confidence will start to drop with that as well. And when I see that, that confidence is dropping, either they tend to rush and make emotional decisions or, like I said before, they sit on the sidelines, sometimes for years.
I recently bought something from my client Nick who after the auction when I purchased the property confessed to me it had been ten years since he initially reached out to me. Now ten years is an extremely long amount of time. I think I mentioned this to you maybe before but it's not unusual for buyers to come back to me after two years of initially reaching out and all that's done. In the meantime it has made their budgets smaller in real terms, unless they have been fortunate enough to have massive bonuses at work or an inheritance or the bank of mum and dad coming in to help. So now that we've identified the real problem of why buyers struggle, what can we do to fix it? Because this podcast is not about hypotheticals and wishful thinking.
This is about helping you get some tools. I'd say in general it's not about more research, it's not about more opinions, it's about strategy. Clarity comes from knowing, what are you trying to achieve, what actually matters in a property, and how to make the decisions when it counts. So once you have that, I think everything changes. So you've got to attack it with military precision almost, you know.
Once you've got the strategy in place, you stop reacting and you start acting with intent. So whilst of course this can be a hugely emotional journey, having a strategy will help you get a better outcome at the end of it. So let's start with, what does the strategy actually look like? It sounds nice, but what does it actually mean, Michelle? Well, I think the simplest of plans should include four things.
Number one, you're brief. What are you actually buying for? Why are you actually buying? So it's not for today, not just meeting your needs today, but your next five to ten years and I know that's probably hard for everyone to imagine themselves in five to ten years, but I think when it comes to property buying, you need to think about, what is on your wish list? Is it potentially having children? Is it potentially having a partner or an animal? that you want to look after. That
needs to be front of mind, really. Front of mind so that you know that, you're aiming for something that you don't have to sell in a couple of years because your life circumstances have changed. If you can stretch it from five to ten years, even better, because we all know that the cost of purchase and the cost of sale are so high, when it comes to things like stamp duty and moving and styling and marketing and all that kind of stuff. If you can make a property stretch for as long as possible, then that's going to work massively in your favor.
Number two on your four point list should be your non-negotiables. It's not a wish list, I'd love to have gas cooking, I know. It's the things that you will not compromise on and that are essential. It could be for you that it has to be within say 15 minute walk to a train station or you need to be close to family or close to a particular daycare center or things like that. Those are things that could work as non-negotiables, right?
Then point three takes you to your decision framework and this is where most buyers go wrong. They assess the property on how it feels instead of how it will perform for you, so a proper decision framework should include the location, not just the suburb, but the street, the positioning and the surrounding things around it, the amenities. Then we look at build quality.
How well is the property being constructed and maintained? It's particularly important when it comes to buying in strata. This is where your due diligence comes in, you should be looking at the strata report with a fine tooth comb and don't just put it in ChatGPT I can't tell you enough this is not going to give you the nuance that you need, I've done several episodes on how to review strata reports and I will do more on them because i think there's a real movement by buyers just to run it through as ChatGPT or Claude or whatever the case may be and I can't tell you I've been training my ChatGPT Pro now for months and it's still missing things. It is not a foolproof way to look at things. You need to look for defects, special levies and overall build health but also understand the Capital Work Fund. You need to understand whether the committee is reactive or proactive.
Are the levies low? Great! No, not great necessarily because it means you might have a deficit down the track and when you need a new roof you're all going to be hit with a twenty grand levy. Efflorescence, is there any present? Is it even mentioned? Are there special safety switches in older buildings? Does it have a work health and safety report? All of that kind of stuff. It's all about risk assessment there.
Now, I would also recommend looking into getting a building and pest inspection for strata nowadays. You can't be too careful, but most particularly, of course, if you're buying a house. So you need to get the contract reviewed as well, where your solicitor or conveyancer could talk you through any clauses or risks or anything that might be to your disadvantage. But then, importantly, you also need to look at council information and DAs.
What's been approved nearby, what could impact the property in the future, your privacy, your density in that street or the surrounding streets. You don't particularly want to be living behind a bill site for the next three, four years that's going to produce a Meriton Tower where you're going to lose all your privacy and your light. So look at that very carefully because it's not just about what you're buying today. You're buying what it could potentially become or not become future
growth potential, not based on guesswork, but based on the fundamentals that I've just laid out for you. The risks, what are the risks? There's no such thing as a perfect property, but if there are risks identified, what could go wrong and what would it cost you if it did go wrong, know the worst case scenario kind of thing. You got to factor that all in.
That's where you should be starting. But next, when it comes to your research, you should also be looking at what the property is actually worth in the cold light of day. So you've got the guide, one thing, the vendor is reserved potentially another. But what is this property worth based on comparable sales? So what has sold in the area recently at what price and how does it compare at what it is you're looking at now?
We are potentially in a very fortunate position as buyers at the moment where there may be more opportunities, but you still need to understand what the value is based on recent sales in the area. So be very clinical about this, does it have the same favorable aspect? Does it have the same light, the privacy, the square meterage, the same, is it the same street?
In terms of location, one street to the next can vary quite a lot when it comes to know desirability and therefore price as well. Now because without that you're not making an informed decision, you're still going with your gut or with your emotion, right?
Once you've done these three points, then your number four point when it comes to your strategy is your walk away point. So at what price and under what conditions would you say no? and that only works, you know, once you've done the research, this is you've taken the guesswork out of what it is I'm actually looking at in the cold light of day. I know what I've got in front of me, the good, the bad and the ugly. Now, if I was in a position, say at auction, if someone was prepared to pay a thousand dollars more, am I going to say, okay, they can have it or no, I really regret that. Damn, I wish I had paid that, right I regret it immensely, also look at it another way it's the price that I do hate to pay but you'd pay it in order to get the keys because that's what your walk away price should be it should be based on evidence, first right and if you decide to push that beyond the based evidence then that is your your walk away price so that a little bit of emotion can only come in at the end once you have done all that research, you can't let your emotion run away from you at the beginning. It certainly shouldn't do at the end, but at least you've got a framework there now. This would be a reasonable price to pay based on all these things that I know now. If I'm going to push myself, then I'm doing that knowingly, not just because I'm rushed and fallen in love and all that kind of thing.
Once you have those four things, you're no longer guessing. You're making decisions based on structure. So the buyers who do this well are not necessarily any smarter than you. They're not luckier than you. They're just structured and they've removed all that outside noise and the internal noise as well. They've replaced it with a plan. That's exactly what the best buyers agents do is they remove the noise for their clients and they come with the structure and the clarity. I hope that helps you and if you are in that situation right now going damn what am I going to do I still haven't bought. I've been chasing my tail starting with that structure and seeing whether it helps you.
If you have any questions, obviously get in touch. I'd love to hear from you if you have any specific questions or suggestions for future episodes. You can reach me on hello@buyyourside.com.au.
Now the other thing you might find interesting is that I've created the Better Home Buying course which is because not everyone can work with me one-on-one and maybe these episodes are just bits and pieces and you want a little bit more information or a lot more information. The Better Home Buying course is exactly that. It's eight modules and live sessions with me, where you can ask me everything that you need to know and want to know and if you don't, it means that you don't have to be left trying to figure things out on your own.
If this episode resonated with you, you're probably sitting somewhere in that loop that I mentioned, the confusion loop. But I hope this framework will help you, and provide some clarity in your property search. Thanks again for listening. Until next time, bye for now.